I am a writer. Or, so I’d like to think about myself, and how my husband introduces me. But the thing is, I haven’t actually written anything aside from a few great outlines and lots of notes. Sure, I had come close to completing my first novel years ago before my hard drive was maliciously ripped from my computer. Since then I have found every excuse to not sit down and write.
At first I thought it was the children. I blammed them because they were noisy so I couldn’t focus. They were little and needed attention with toilet training, reading, fixing toys, food, etc. I kept saying, well,when they are older and a bit more independent I’ll start and just take notes for now. But I have to admit, it really isn’t them. I mean, two of them are at school giving me three full hours and my third spends most of the time quietly playing or drawing on her own. I know I could write around her (and I often am productive).
Then I started blaming it on the house and chores. So easily I would get distracted by the “need” to dust, vacuum, or fold yet another load of laundry. Dinners would need to be planned and prepared. Toys picked up, items arranged, windows washed, walls scrubbed, and so forth. Even as I sat down to write this afternoon I left a blank white page to scoop up abandoned Legos. Was I really irked by the Legos or by the lack of words on my page?
Other things are the culprit as well. I’m always distracted by the need to go brush my teeth, or grab a glass of water, or put more food out for the cat, or check for mail, or email, or Facebook, or read just one more paragraph, or or or…
Now I’m pointing a finger my my hardware. I have a transformer Asus tablet with keyboard, but it is old and slow, and doesn’t charge up well, and the keyboard doesn’t really work anymore. I have a newer Samsung Galaxy Tab tablet without a keyboard (what I’m using to write this) and apparently no USB ports to add one. I also have an Asus notebook loaded with Umbuntu. It is ok, kinda slow in booting. A strange layout and operating system, but maybe only because I don’t have the password and am always logged in as Guest. Writing without an actual keyboard drives me bonkers. It also makes my shoulder hurt (rotator cuff injury, probably some kind of tendonitis), as well as my hands (carpel tunnel as well as arthritis). I end up sitting hunched over, wreaking havoc on my posture, causing an array of other issues. What I have just isn’t up to snuff.
Riiiight. Suck it up Mazy and write already! I decided to make an attempt by writing for 25 minutes at a time. I figured, I could ignore all other chores, my daughter will not have a monsterous toilet attack, and I could focus for a mere 25 minutes, then go back to regular household and mom duties. Once I got good with 25 minute blocks, I could lengthen the time or add more later. So I downloaded a fun little tracking app with a timer and set it to go. Theni started booting up my Asus notebook. After 5 minutes and running bios twice, I got to the home screen and Office opened. Then the breaker for the living room flipped. Space heater, lamp, and laptop instantly went out. After trugginng to the basement to flip the breakers back and restore power, my timer was now telling me I had used up over 8 minutes of my time. The laptop refused to reboot. 13 minutes gone. Fired up the old Asus tablet. No go. Stuck on the home screen with a fun swirly emblem. “Mommy! I need to go potty!!” 22 minutes gone. Decided to just deal with it and opened Polaris Office on the Samsung tablet, keyboard or no keyboard, I was going to make use of my remaining three minutes!
Despite my resolve, I got nothing accomplished. And now it is too late because it is 2:37pm and I need to be at the school by 3 to pick up the boys. And then I need to go over homework, and prepare dinner, and beg for them to clean up, take showers, brush teeth, wash the dishes, mop the dining room, and set out lunch for tomorrow. I know I could write after everyone is in bed, but we all know that’s not going to happen.