In-Home Assessment: Preface to a Surrogacy Story

Today was my first meeting with a representative from the Fertility SOURCE company.  Her name was April and she flew all the way to Boston from Irvine, California.  She was a tall, pretty, blonde stereotypical Californian woman. Dressed in a clingy black ensemble and wedge heels, both her attire and her personality mixed business with pleasure.  Right away I knew that she loved what she did for a living and truly believed in it.  Her easy presence in my living room made me want to be a surrogate mother all the more.

April performed the In-Home Assessment/Meeting in about an hour and a half. The purpose of the meeting was to screen possible surrogate mothers & weed out the ones who didn’t fit right off the bat.  My husband had to be present for the meeting because he needs to be screened as well.  The agency wants to be sure that they know what they are getting & that the surrogate mother lives in a decent & safe home, as well as a decent & safe relationship with lots of support.  It was a whirl-wind of information and signing & initialing of a lot of paperwork, but we were left feeling rather confident about the procedure.

There were a few “scare” tactics that the case manager opened with.  First, she showed me the needles that would be used to inject the hormone medication prior to the pregnancy.  I had to agree that they were indeed frightening and large.  And yes, 10 to 15 weeks of them was going to be a lot of pin pricks.  Oh, and I would have to administer these myself.  Then she proceeded in describing some possible complications that could arise, using herself as an example.  She recounted her own surrogacy experience, how it went wrong, and the hysterectomy that was the end result.  Undeterred by these things,  I encouraged her to continue on.

She then asked a few target questions, such as my views on termination or reduction (aborting multiples)  & my flexibility on various things like intended parents’ wishes on diet, etc.  She also asked if I was willing to carry for a homosexual couple.  She jotted down notes with each of my answers, then handed me a large packet of legal jargon inside of a pale purple folder with a newborn on the cover.  She went over piece by piece, paragraph by paragraph and really made sure that I didn’t miss anything.  She also encouraged me, more than once, that it would be a good idea to get a lawyer to go over everything with me as well.  I liked this attention to detail.

She took a photocopy of the front & back of my insurance card, my husband’s and my drivers’ licences, and my older son’s pregnancy & birth records.  I don’t have any records for my younger son because he was an unassisted pregnancy & birth.  Before she left she informed me that a  background check on my husband & I would  be performed & that I should be expecting a call to set up an appointment for a psychological screening.

Then she left.  That was it.

Oooooo….I am so excited for my psychological screening!

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